Step By Step
by M.K. Hulsey
Summary: Olivia's old friend Nick is in town for a concert, along with the one man she'd loved her entire life. What happens when she meets her dream? Will it be all she thought, or will it leave her hurt and disappointed.
1. Chapter 1

OLIVIA

"I wonder if that is still his same number," I thought to myself. I knew the chances were slim and winning the lottery was more likely, but I guess I figured what the hell and sent a text before I could talk myself out of it.

::Is this still Nick's number?::

While I waited on the reply that I didn't exactly expect I went about getting ready. Nick was changing his number every year or so and it'd been two years since we'd last talked. We did that, go years with no contact then BAM! All of a sudden we'd get in touch with each other and it was always as if no time had passed at all. We'd been best friends since we were six and I was always asked why, if we were best friends, did we lose touch and go through that all the time. If people only knew!

I was stingy about who I shared my secrets with and I guess I considered Nick a secret in a way. To me he was just this blond headed brat I met on the beach years and years ago who still after all these years just got me. To the world, well that was why he was my secret see. To the world he was a pop sensation and the heartthrob of the ever popular Backstreet Boys. I could never see him as famous, he was just this kid living out his dreams ya know?

I jumped when my cell barked at me, letting me know I had a text message. I picked it up and looked at the screen then smiled. I couldn't believe his number hadn't changed!

::Guess that would all depend on who is asking.::

Instead of replying with a text I snapped a picture and sent it. It wasn't a full minute til my cell phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Olivia, I cannot believe you kept my number! How are you?" The smile in his voice brought a smile to my face. Before I could answer he said, "Are you still living in Atlanta?"

Laughing I said, "Yes, I am, and yes I will be at the show tonight!"Oh it was so good to hear his voice.

"Come now then," he said. "We can grab lunch at the Glen and catch up. It's been way too long, what almost three years now? After lunch you can come and watch the sound check okay?"

"Sounds great," I said. "I'll meet you at the Glen in say an hour? That okay?"

"Perfect! See you soon Liv."

Hanging up I smiled to myself and went about getting ready. I pulled my long chestnut brown curls up into a loose and messy ponytail and slid into my favorite outfit. Standing in front of the mirror I took in the one shouldered tank top and the white jean capris and wondered which shoes would be best. I slid into my teal and white sandals with the flower on them and decided I was ready. Lip gloss on, I grabbed my purse and headed out the door.

In my truck I took out my cell phone and called Grayson. He was far from my boyfriend though he was always trying to get to that place in my life. He was a good friend to me and that was, in my eyes, all he would ever be. He picked up on the third ring.

"Hey Olivia, what's up?"

"Just wanted to let you know that I will meet you at the arena for the show, I'm headed out now to meet up with an old friend who happens to be in town."

"Okay, sounds good. See you there babe."

I hated when he used those kinds of terms with me. Babe, baby, honey, blah blah blah! I always thought that those terms were for relationships, not friendships like ours.

Twenty minutes later I pulled into the Glen and handed off my keys to the valet. The concierge at held the door for me and I walked in and took a seat on a plush couch to wait for Nick. It was only minutes til I saw him, and man did he look good!

His arms circles my waist as he lifted me into a massive hug, spinning me around before sitting my feet back on the floor and kissing my cheek. Taking my hand and without a single word he led me to a table in the far back corner of the restaurant. Once we were seated he looked at me and smiled.

"You look amazing," he said. "So who's the lucky guy who has you these days?"

"I'm single but thank you," I said. "You're looking pretty damn good too. I'm so proud of you. You know this right?" I said this every single time I saw him but this time there was more behind it than ever before. "How's the waitress?"

"Eh, she's not mine anymore as of about a year ago. I guess the re-birth of the fame was just too much for her. You've been keeping up with me I guess?"

We ordered and I smiled, "Always. I saw your People article to. It scared me and it still does."

He took my hand and in one simple look he calmed me and my mind. After a pause he grinned at me. "So, you're finally getting to see New Kids in concert after all these years huh?"

"Yes! I cannot wait either, I feel like a little school kid or something right now."

He laughed out loud and said, "and let me guess, your still a Donnie girl right?"

"Of course, you know I've loved that man since I was what? Eight?"

We finished our meal and he stood. "Ready to head over to the arena?"

We left the hotel and climbed into my truck. "You just tell me where to go and park."

His cell rang and he handed it to me. "Answer it."

Looking at caller id I saw that it was Alex, who was, besides Nick, one of my very best friends. "Hello?"

"Oh, sorry was tryin to call someone else."

"Now Alex you know I'm just the girl you wanna talk to boo!"

It only took a second for him to realize it was me. "Oh my God! Liv! How the hell are you? Nick didn't say he was going to meet you for lunch just a friend!"

Laughing I said, "I guess I qualify as a friend now don't I? We are about to pull in and park at the arena! See you in a minute!" I hung up and parked in the bottom of the parking area before we climbed out of the truck and headed inside.

I'd never been in an empty arena and it looked so much bigger than it did when it was full of people. I didn't have a lot of time to take it all in before I was greeted by Brian, Leighanne, Bailey, and Alex. Alex stood back and let me say hello to the others then he scooped me up and gave me a hug that rivaled Nick's from earlier.

"How the in the hell are ya Liv," Alex said.

Laughing I told him I was wonderful and so glad to be seeing everyone. He raised his eyebrow in Nick's direction and I knew something was up. "What is it?"

"Did you let her know that the sound check is a group thing?"

"I think she kinda figured that AJ, but if you meant that it's a group thing that happens to include five other guys, well I guess I left that part out."

It took a minute to digest exactly what that meant but I shook it off as soon as it hit me. "I think I can handle a simple sound check you two goons."

"Besides," Leighanne said, "We have a lot of catching up to do. We won't even be paying attention to the sound check!"

"Oh she may not pay attention but I have a feeling that she's going to know just when things get going good," Nick said.

Sticking my tongue out at him as he walked away I had to laugh. Leighanne and I took one of thousands of empty seats and got lost in conversation before they guys even began. It had been far too long since she and I had gotten to talk.

It was about forty five minutes into the rehearsal when they stopped and took a break. Nick came over with AJ and sat down next to me and Leigh took Bayliegh to find some lunch next door at the CNN center.

"So I can only assume that you are getting excited about the next leg of sound check, right?"

"Leave her alone Alex, she is probably all school girl giggly on the inside about it and her nerves are making her sick."

"My nerves are just fine and I am totally not school girl giggly on the inside! Thanks for your concern but yeah, not needed guys." I smiled then and said, "I love this. I mean look at us, we've been separated for what? Two years this time? And look, it's like we've not gone a single day without talking."

Alex laughed, "That is true, but you know what, that's how you know the friendship is real." He hugged me before grabbing his water bottle and walking off.

I stood and was talking to Nick when I saw the other guys take the stage. I could have sworn I felt my heart stop beating for a moment and my skin felt fevered. That man was even more beautiful than I had imagined he would be.

Nick saw my face and smiled. "You okay Olivia?"

I just nodded and watched Donnie and the rest of the guys perform. "He's beautiful." It was barely a whisper as it escaped my lips.

It took a minute but eventually Nick and I fell back into an easy and steady conversation. I guess we must have lost track of time because soon it seemed we heard someone yell, "Hey Nick you can get ya game on later bro but in case you forgot we have a rehearsal goin on. Get ya ass up here."

"The Don calls, I must go," he said hugging me and heading up onto the stage.

NICK

"She is a friend man, trust it's not like that with me and her."

"Who is she then cause you two looked awfully cozy out there talkin," Donnie said.

"That girl has been my best friend since I was six years old, nothing at all like your thinking and I can promise you even IF I was looking for more it wouldn't happen with her."

"You might want to explain that to Lauren before she sees you two together then, it was a damn easy mistake to assume there was more. Now let's practice."

When practice was over and I had told Olivia goodbye til later I headed to the back of the arena. I was taking a long sip of water when I heard Donnie come up behind me and say, "Hey man, I didn't mean to come off like a hard ass back there okay?"

"Its fine really it is but believe me when I say she is only a friend. She only has eyes for one guy; it's been that way since we were kids."

He nodded and shrugged. "Hey, sometimes we find our soul mate and that is just how it is. They are the only one we need. At least she's happy in her relationship. Speaking of you need to explain her to Lauren. Otherwise I have the feeling you won't be too happy in your relationship when she sees you and ya friend there together."

"Whoah, first of all Olivia is single. She's technically not met the man she's been in love with some twenty plus years. As for Lauren, she's knows OF Olivia, but I do need to talk to her more about her I guess."

He raised his eyebrow and walked away. Just as he walked away Lauren came walking up. "Hey babe, how are you? Was rehearsal okay today?"

Forcing a smile I said, "It was fabulous as always. I'm good too, just tired. Thinking about a nap before show time."

"Oh, okay, well I guess I could go and rest with you then."

It hit me all of a sudden when she walked up that her and Olivia were not going to get along at all. Olivia was blunt and would call it as she saw it, she wouldn't be nice just because Lauren was my girlfriend. That wasn't her style. If she had something to say she would say it. God this was going to be explosive I thought to myself.

"Nick, hello! I'm standing here talking to you and it's like you're on some other planet!"

"Sorry, I told you I was tired. Guess I just spaced out."

"Yeah, you did! I was talking to you about the show and the after party. Are we going or not?"

I heaved a deep sigh. "I don't think I'm going. It's just too much on me I think. Besides, you know what happened the last time you went and the whole thing with the fans. You have got to get past that or it's going to be trouble for me."

"Well maybe those idiot sluts should respect that you have a girlfriend and stay the hell off of you. That would be a great place to start."

"Lauren those :idiot sluts: as you call them are my fans! They are the ones who allow me to do what I'm doing and they are the ones who allow me to buy you the things that I buy you. You'd think you would be more appreciative of them than you are."

She snorted and I just shook my head and walked toward the bus. I was laying down before she was even in the area.

OLIVIA

"Grayson! Hey, wait up," I called. I just caught sight of him as I was coming out of the arena. I ran over and smiled at him. "Have you been here long?"

The tall dark haired man shrugged his shoulders. "Half hour I guess. Did you um, just come out of the arena? I thought the doors were still locked?"

I took a deep breath and realized that now would most likely be a good time to explain things to him. "Gray, can we find somewhere a little more private to talk? Somewhere away from all these people?"

He gave me a look that was mixed with confusion and concern as he put his hand at my lower back. "Sure thing, lets head across the street to the parking area." Once we were there he turned to look at me and said, "Now, what's going on?"

With a deep breath I said, "Okay, so, well, you know I didn't grow up here in Atlanta right? Well, I grew up in Clearwater Florida and that is where my best years were I think."

"Okay, so are you tryin to tell me that you're moving back or something? What are you saying?"

"Ugh, I don't know how to say it without coming right out and saying it I guess. My best friend since childhood is Nick Carter. He was the old friend in town who I met up with for lunch today and then he invited me to watch the sound check. There's not a ton of people who know about the friendship."

"Wait, you're telling me that you know Nick Carter and have since you were a kid? As in Backstreet Boy, famous blond guy?"

I shrugged and nodded. "I guess that would be the general consensus but it's not the way I see it in my mind. To me these guys are not famous people or "Backstreet Boys" they're just people. I see Nicky, Alex, Bri, and D., not anyone else."

Letting out a breath that hissed through his teeth Grayson said, "Have to admit that was the last thing I expected to come out of your mouth, but okay. No wonder you didn't want to be in that mob of screaming girls and risk being over heard."

I smiled at him and was grateful for his understanding. "Yeah, not the mob I'd like to deal with! Looks like they opened the doors, let's go. Oh, and by the way, our seats are ridiculously amazing."

He put his hand on the small of my back as we walked back across the street to the arena and inside. I let it go, even though it was a little too intimate, to possessive really, for my liking. One of these days Grayson was going to have to learn that we were nothing more than friends and would never be more than friends.

To say that we suffered through the first act would be kind. It was horrendous! The girl screeched through one song after another and they all seemed to have the same beat to them. It was a slow death to helpless ears, a musical train wreck! Finally she was done, a cat's life was saved I'm certain, and Jordin Sparks came out to rock the stage. Finally some talent in this place I thought. She looked amazing and it was no wonder why she won American Idol. I was highly impressed with her performance. As good as she was though I was eager and ready for the main act. Time seemed to be crawling! She sang her last song and I applauded, not because it had been so incredibly great, which it was, but because finally it was time for the boys!

The stage went dark and the arena erupted in the loudest sound I had ever heard in my entire life. The excitement was palpable. Everyone was on their feet, screams, claps, stomps, all sounded out loud, ready for the headliners of the night. The opening montage ran, and the girls screamed right where I expected them too, for Nick, Brian, Joey and Jordan. The rest got love too but not nearly on the level of the "heartthrobs". Donnie's picture popped up and I admit that I let out a totally fan girl scream too. Lord but that man was beautiful. I think I may have held my breath as I waited for the curtain to drop, and when it did it all came out in a loud swoosh. There were all nine guys on the platform, in black, light shining down and still I could pick out my man. I'd swear to you there was electricity running through that building, so strong you could literally feel it.

Nick caught my eye from his place on the stage during one of the songs and he winked up at me. I just smiled and watched him as he did what he loved so much. I was so incredibly proud of him, AJ too, and my smile reflected that. I was lost in the songs when they slowed it down, grabbed the stools and did some ballads. At the end of one song I saw Nick and AJ playing rock, paper, scissors, and I knew it was time for I'll Never Break Your Heart. I laughed because the winner was clear as the guys took to the audience in search of a girl to serenade. AJ came up to me and held his hand out for mine. "Let's go beautiful," he said and I blushed in the dark arena as I followed him down to the stage.

He kissed my cheek and smiled at me as they started to sing. He knew that I loved his voice and always had. He had a raspy quality to it that seemed to always be able to soothe me no matter what the situation was, without fail. As the song came to an end he handed me a single long stem red rose, which all the others received as well, and then took my hand to escort me to the steps of the stage. Nick stopped us and gave me a tight hug. Before he released me he whispered in my ear, so softly I could barely hear him, "Just remember to breathe Liv." I gave him a confused look before heading down the stairs and then back to my seat. Remember to breathe? Lord that boy had really lost his mind. How was I going to forget that? Shaking my head I took my seat and got back to enjoying the show.

When Donnie took center stage to sing Cover Girl, I have to admit the kid in me took over and I squealed with everyone else. I was so wrapped up in the performance that I barely noticed when his hands went to the neck of the black tank top that he was wearing and slowly, almost seductively (okay maybe only to me but my gah it was most definitely seducing!) ripped the shirt, throwing it into the crowd. My breath caught in my lungs, my heart stopped, and I swear to you my knees turned into a jellified substance that had less firmness than a bowl of wobbling jello. He stood on that stage in his jeans, bare chested, and breathtakingly gorgeous.

When I finally could think straight again I realized that my cell phone was vibrating in my pocket. I took it out to check it just to be sure it wasn't someone calling from home, and saw that it was a text from Nick.

::Just breathe…NGC::

::Screw you Nickolas!::

::Haha oh just wait and like I said, don't forget to breathe.::

Shoving my phone back into my pocket I turned my attention back to the stage. Donnie was just putting his jacket back on, skin shimmering with sweat still showing, and the rest of the guys were out to do the next song. As they began to sing tonight they headed into the audience and before I could blink Donnie was in front of me.

"His chest, and those abs, I swear I'd eat dinner off of him," I thought to myself. Beside me I heard Grayson saying something and it didn't register. Donnie looks at me and smiles.

"Is that true ma?" I looked him then at Grayson wondering just what had been said after all. Donnie laughed his amazing laugh and took my hand in his. He placed my palm on his chest and I could feel his heart beating beneath his skin. My knees wanted to buckle but I forced myself to stand firm. When he ran my hand down across his abs however it got harder to stand. When I felt his belt buckle beneath the skin on my palm I knew for sure that I was going to fall over. His smile was almost my undoing. When he let go of my hand he reached into his back pocket and pulled out a card and handed it to me. With a wink he turned and went back to the stage.

Grayson leaned in close to me and said, "You okay Olivia?" I nodded and he asked, "What did he give you?"

I looked down at the card in my hand and was shocked. Nick had to of been behind this mess. "It's a vip invitation to his sold out after party tonight after the show." I saw Grayson's eyes cloud over and could tell he would have something to say about the invitation when this show was over. For now I stuffed it in my back pocket and felt my cell vibrating once again. I pulled it out and saw that it was once again Nick.

::I'd say breathe but money says what you really need right now is a change of clothes::  
>::Shut up jackass. Did you put him up to that?::<p>

::To what? The whole touch him thing? Nope can't take the credit that was all him.::

::No the after party invitation.::

::Olivia I'm guilty of many things in my life, but that isn't one of them.:: As I was reading that text he was taking the stage again.

When the show was over Grayson looked at me and said, "So are you really planning on going to this party by yourself?"

I shrugged my shoulders and felt the smart ass in me rising to the top. "Well I mean technically I won't be alone. It is sold out, Donnie will most definitely be there, and I'm sure that Nick and AJ will be there too."

He hung his head and let out a loud sigh. "Olivia you're ex-boyfriend is making threats to your life. You can't be out just running around at all hours of the night alone. No one would be with you when you get home."

"Look, I'll be fine," I said. "I can't stop living my life just because I have shitty taste in guys now can I? I'll talk to Nick about it all, get him to take me home and check things out before he leaves. I'll be just fine. He won't let anything happen to me. I promise."

Grayson threw his hands up in surrender knowing this was a battle he wouldn't be winning. "Fine! Just call or text me whenever you get home," he said before turning and walking out of the arena.

NICK

I walked out into the empty arena and smiled at Olivia. "Hey there lady, you ready for the after party?"

She nodded and bit down on her bottom lip, a sign that had always meant she was nervous. "Liv, don't worry about it. You will be fine. It's just a casual, fun, party atmosphere at a local club. You're going to dance, have a drink, and enjoy the night. Now come on, let's go." I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and led her out of the arena to her truck.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

NICK

Halfway to the club my cell phone went off. I dug it out of my pocket and felt myself cringe seeing Lauren's name. I should have known she would be texting by now. Explaining my way out of this was going to be more difficult than I'd like. Before I read her text I decided to send Brian a text.

::Hey man, not feeling Lauren coming tonight to the after party, especially with Olivia here. Hate to pull you into it but can I just tell her I'm going to your place to check out some things in your studio and will be back in the morning when it's time to head out?::

It wasn't a full minute before he replied saying it was fine with him. I checked Lauren's text then.

::Where the hell are you Nick? The show has been over going on an hour now and you're not in the bus or anywhere to be found.::

With a deep breath I replied, ::Hey sorry I thought I'd sent the text but I guess it didn't go through. I'm headed out to Brian's place. He's got some new things goin in his studio and he wanted me to check em out. I'll be back in the morning before we head out. Get some sleep::

She was going to be pissed but she'd get over it. We pulled into the parking area for the club and hopped out of the truck. Olivia was visibly nervous and I couldn't help thinking it was cute. I grabbed her hand and said, "Come on Liv, let's go on in."

I felt her tug on my hand and turned to see her feet planted firmly on the ground, her body unmoving. "Olivia, it's a big party in there, no reason to be nervous, I swear it to you."

She shook her head. "That's not it Nick, I need to talk to you. I promised Grayson I would and I guess you need to know about it all too."

"What's wrong," I asked her. I could see her face and tell something was bothering her.

"My ex-boyfriend, he's been making threats lately, and Gray just thinks if you or someone saw me home it'd be best."

"Threats," I asked moving closer to her. "What kind of threats exactly? Threats like he's going to slit your tires, or threats like he's going to slit you?" She looked at me and I had my answer. She wouldn't be out of my sight tonight, for damn sure. I swallowed hard at the anger boiling up inside of me. "I'll take care of you tonight. I'll see you home and everything to, no worries. Let's go on in and have some fun now."

"I doubt that he will be showing up here, really I do and I just one night of not worrying about him showing up and ruining the fun."

I pulled her in for a hug and put a small kiss on her head. "Liv, listen to me," I said barely above a whisper, "you are going to go in there and have an amazing time and not worry about anything at all. No one will be ruining anything. I promise you that." Taking her hand in mine I led her to the door.

I walked in and felt more resistance on Olivia's end. I turned and saw the bouncer had put his hand up preventing her from coming inside. "Dude, she's with me."

"Sorry Mister Carter, but this place is sold out and fire code says I can't let anyone else in. Only way this lady is getting in is with a pass."

"Well you big moron, if you would have given me just a minute I happen to have one. Oh but no! You just assume that I don't and proceed to push me out of the way. Really, get some people skills jackass," Olivia said as she all but shoved her ticket in the muscled guys face. I had to laugh because she hadn't changed a bit. She still had all the spunk and fire in her that she'd had as a kid on the beach, insulted that kids assumed she was my girlfriend because we played daily. I shook my head and wondered what she'd think to know Donnie had thought that same thing.

"Are we going in knucklehead or are you going to stand there with that idiot grin on your face all night?"

"Ahh Olivia dear I think the grin is the way to go." She smacked me in the shoulder and headed in with me close on her heels.

OLIVIA

This place is so loud I can't hear myself think, I thought to myself. Well I heard that at least. I ordered a drink at the bar, something girly and fruity, and then turned to Nick. "Lead the way hotshot." I had to yell to be heard over the music.

I followed him up a flight of stairs, stopping at the top to stare at the sea of females. All the chicks here for one man, really it was just ridiculous. Then my eyes found that man. My breath caught and I nearly dropped my drink. His beauty was breathtaking, every time I saw him. His smile had an effect on me, making my knees literally go weak, causing my heart to speed up beyond anything I'd known before. My reaction to him was not normal. It couldn't be.

Sticking close to Nick we made our way to the stage where Donnie was standing next to the DJ wearing a white V-neck t-shirt with a pair of jeans, just baggy enough to be sexy, and that black Boston ball cap. We got to where he stood, up above us, and Nick hopped on the stage with him. I smiled because I knew that they were both doing what they loved. That made anyone attractive, well okay, maybe not anyone, but these two at least. Donnie looked down and caught my eye. He smiled at me, winked, and turned his attention back to the audience. If it hadn't of been so packed in I think I'd have passed out.

After a song or two the guys disappeared off stage and were gone for about ten minutes. I grabbed a passing bar girl and got myself another drink. Tonight was going to be just fine.

NICK

"Dub, that girl at the show, the one you gave the ticket to for tonight?" He nodded and I said, "Look man, she's my best friend, I've known her since we were six years old. I don't want you playing game with her alright?"

He shook his head. "Man, I didn't know who it was when I gave her that ticket, not that it would have changed things even if I'd have known. She was a beautiful girl, and she had a beautiful smile. She got my attention, so she got a ticket. Simple as that, no games. I've outgrown that shit anyway man."

"I didn't mean anything bad; just… well I guess it's best to say that she isn't your run of the mill fan girl. She's not a one night good time; she's a take time and get to know her kinda girl." With that I walked away and was out on the dance floor with Olivia before he made it back out on stage.

She had made her way more to the back of the room, had found a chair and taken a seat. She was sipping on another drink, and she was wearing the faint hint of a smile. I sat down beside of her without saying anything and soaked in the atmosphere. When Donnie took the stage again I swear I heard her sigh, even over all the screams and squeals.

"Nick, he's absolutely beautiful. Every single thing about him is beautiful."

I smiled and took her hand. "Let's dance lady, now." I led her to the dance floor and we danced for what seemed like hours and yet in reality it was barely a full hour. I couldn't help but wonder if he would talk to her tonight, acknowledge her in some way beyond a smile from stage that he'd given almost every other female in the room.

A slow song came on and she walked back to the seats in the back of the room. Before I could ask if she was ready to head home Donnie walked up, hands in his pockets. Signaling the waitress for a drink he smiled.

"How's it goin man," he said shaking my hand.

"Good, Donnie this is Olivia, the one friend who's there for me no matter what. I don't think you two have been properly introduced." I watched her closely as he took her hand and smiled straight into her eyes.

"No I don't think we have. How are you tonight ma?" he said and I think at that moment Olivia melted and all rational thought left her brain. "It's my pleasure Olivia. Have you enjoyed yourself tonight?"

She shook her head and I saw her say definitely more than I heard her. I hung around a few more minutes until Donnie finished off his drink, and when ordering another asked what she would like to drink. I grabbed my Coke and walked away smiling.

Donnie

The bartender was fast getting us our drinks and I leaned into this beautiful woman sitting beside me. "I could use some fresh air what about you?" She nodded and I stood and led her to a stairway in the back corner of the room. I let her go up the stairs first, if only to watch her walk up them. Holding the door at the top for her we stepped out onto the rooftop. There was a nice lounge area set up going on, sofa, lamps, and an outdoor fire place. Of course as hot as Atlanta was that wasn't needed.

Leading me to the sofa we took a seat and I turned to face her. She smiled staring out at the city lights. "It's gorgeous up here at night, the stars are bright, and the skyline, even when your right in the middle of it is amazing," she said.

I took a sip of my Vodka and watched her silhouette. "It's definitely beautiful up here, no doubt. So, you're friends with Nick huh?"

She turned to look at me then. "Yeah, he's my oldest friend, best friend really."

"So you grew up in Florida I'm assuming. What brought you to Atlanta?"

She shrugged her tan shoulders. "I guess technically I've always live here. My time in Clearwater was nothing permanent. I think at times I'm much more suited to the beach though."

The image of her in a bathing suit, sand between her toes, her running into the water's edge and letting the wave's crash on her smooth legs took root in my mind and I tried to shake it. "You visit there often then?"

"Yeah, I try to, have a place there, but can't seem to get down much anymore."

I stared at her, and as I did she became more beautiful to me by the second. She was so much more intoxicating than any drink I had consumed tonight. "Tell me about you Olivia."

"What do you want to know?"

"Whatever you want to share with me, who you are, what you like, what you don't. What do for a living? Tell me who you are."

She was silent a minute as she looked out over the city. Finally she said, "I've lived here for thirty one years and I've never seen Atlanta this way before. Everyone should experience this. I guess you can say I'm a simple girl really."

"I doubt seriously that you're simple. I'm almost certain that there's many layers and facets to you."

Smiling she looked down, almost shy. "Maybe so, then again maybe not. I'm a country girl, love my football on Saturdays, wrestling on Mondays, a good book in a hot bath full of bubbles, hikes in the woods, cooking, and I love music. I'm a mom, have an eight year old daughter who just happens to be my world." She stopped and took a sip of her drink. "I guess this is where I'd normally ask the guy about him, but you're not my normal guy, huh?"

I laughed and said, "No, I guess not. Did you have any problems convincing your boyfriend to let you come here tonight without him?"

"Grayson isn't my boyfriend, even though if he had his way we'd be halfway to the alter by now. I'm doing the single thing, focusing on me and my daughter. I've got too much to do to worry about boys who always hurt you in the end anyway."

"Well there's your problem right there, you're dealing in boys instead of men. You're much to pretty to be single." She smiled and I could tell she was blushing. I had to fight the urge to reach out and brush the stray strand of hair off of her face as the breeze blew it gently. A slow song started to play in the club below and its music drifted up to us. I stood and held out a hand to her. "Dance with me," I said.

OLIVIA

"Dance with me," he said. It came out in barely a whisper and I thought for a minute I heard him wrong. "Come on, I haven't had one decent dance all night, dance with me." His hand was out waiting on mine to take it. My stomach was engaged in full-fledged acrobatics as the skin of my palm met his. I stood and he pulled me into his arms and began to sway slowly to the faint beat.

I don't think my mind fully registered that I was dancing with Donnie Wahlberg, the guy who'd I'd been crushing on and loving for almost twenty five years. Surely if it did my knees and legs would fail me.

"Are you always so shy and quiet?"

"No, not ever really. I guess you just have that effect on me." Holy hell, I was not only slow dancing on a roof looking over Atlanta with this man, I was flirting with him! I had to of lost my mind.

"Is that a good thing, or should I save what's left of my pride and make my exit now," he said with a smirk.

Shaking my head lightly I smiled, "No need for an exit at all." He pulled me closer then and I could feel his breath at my ear, trickling down my neck. I felt my breath catch in my throat and my stomach clench. There was no way on earth he could know how incredibly sexy he was, or what the heat of his breath on my skin was doing to me. Uncontrollably I leaned in closer to him, resting my head on his shoulder.

"I could make some completely lame ass comment on how great your hair smells but it wouldn't be what I want to do." His lips were like butterfly wings on my ear as he spoke. "This however, is exactly what I would like to do," he said seconds before his lips touched the tender spot of my neck, right behind my ear, and my knees buckled. His lips trailed down my neck and his hand came to my chin.

He tilted my head up to look at him. He looked into my eyes and whispered, "I wonder if you hear that you are beautiful often enough." Then his lips lightly brushed against mine. I felt foolish when a sigh slipped out.

He took my face in his hands, nice strong hands, and he let his lips find mine. I held onto his arms, my mind spinning out of control, my stomach hosting a party for the butterflies he'd set loose there. He traced my lips with the tip of his tongue before deepening the kiss. My nerves were tingling and I swear to you that I could fly I was so high off of his kiss.

When he pulled away my breath rushed out of my lungs and my head spun. "My God," I said.

"I'm sorry," he said leaning his head against mine, still holding my face in his hands.

"I'm not," I managed. Jesus had that just happened? My heart was pounding, my thoughts were running wild.

After a minute he whispered, "So, if you're not sorry then this will be okay, right," he said as his lips once again found mine. I couldn't stop the sigh that tried to escape as I melted against him, unable to do anything but return his kiss.

When our tongues met I felt his body soften and his hands found their way to my hair. He freed the long locks from the ponytail holder and tangled his hands in the thickness. He tugged at my hair as his teeth caught my bottom lip and tugged before he moved to cover my neck and shoulders in his hot kisses, setting my body on fire. After a minute his lips were back on mine and his hands grabbed my waist lifting me off the ground. My legs instinctively went around his waist and I heard him sigh as his whole body responded to the close contact.

He carried me back to the sofa and sat so that I was on his lap. His hands brushed my bare arms and down my back. His fingertips landed softly on my hips, brushing bare skin there making me squirm.

"You keep doing that, and I have a firm feeling this will end up being more than one incredible fucking kiss," he murmured, barely taking his lips from mine.

He had no way to know that that one foul word turned me on so much, as if I wasn't already turned on. My mind went blank and the alcohol took over my body. My hips moved and I was squirming again in his lap. His body responded just how I knew it would at this point.

"Jesus," he hissed between clenched teeth, smoothly flipping our position so that he was on top of me, pinning me to the sofa. "If we were sober, this might go differently. I never do this anymore, never, but damn it all woman you have me wanting you so fucking bad." His lips crushed mine hard and I pressed my body to his.

He pulled back and looked at me, his hands on his head. "Tell me I'm not taking advantage of you, that you will not regret anything that happens on this roof in the morning."

"At this point the only thing I'm going to regret is you not taking advantage of me." When he still looked as though he thought I was just talking I smiled. "Look ask Nick tomorrow if I'll regret this, for now, don't stop what you were doing, please."

I grabbed his shirt and pulled him back down to me, and before I knew it our clothes were in a pile on the ground and I would have sworn that there were fireworks going off all over the city. There on that Atlanta rooftop I had the best sexual experience of my entire life, with a man I thought I'd never meet, much less find myself skin to skin with, sweating and giving the stars a show.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

He held me when it was over and kissed me softly. I couldn't even begin to put my emotions and thoughts into words at that moment. Realization started to set in and I could feel my heart beat speed up all over again.

"My guess is Nick is probably wondering where in the hell you are right about now. He seems pretty protective."

Oh God! Nick! I'd all but forgotten him being downstairs in the club. I fixed my hair and pulled the strap of my tank back onto my shoulder. I reached out for my purse and Donnie's hand fell on mine.

"You have to know that I do not do this all the time. That isn't the kind of guy that I am, at least not anymore. I've grown up a lot since the last tour go round." I nodded and felt myself blush. His lips brushed my forehead and he stood, never letting go of my hand. He pulled me to my feet and smiled down at me. "So, if I give you my number, the chances of getting a call would be what exactly?"

I smiled up at him again, biting my bottom lip and then I looked away. I didn't want him to think that I was easy. I definitely wasn't even though tonight had been amazing. He laughed softly and led me back down the stairs and back into the club. The noise drowned out all my thoughts, a fact that I was grateful for at the moment. The fans started coming up and wanting pieces of Donnie's time so our connection was broken and before long there was an entire dance floor between us.

NICK

"Hey Liv, I was wondering where in the hell you'd gotten off to. Did you and Dub get a chance to talk without the craziness of this place?"

She looked down at her toes and immediately I knew there was something different about her. She looked happier than I'd seen her in years. Finally I saw her nod and smile softly. "Good," I said. "You ready to head home?"

She looked at her watch and seemed shocked at the time. "I didn't realize it was so late. I guess I do need to get home. Of course if you're not ready, it's cool."

I took her by her arm and turned her toward the door. "We can go its fine. I need to get some sleep at some point anyway." I smiled at her and winked. I caught Donnie's eye across the room and held up my hand to signal we were leaving. He waved our way and I watched as Olivia waved back and smiled at him. All I could think was that if he hurt her, I'd have to hurt him.

Once out in her truck I could see her face more clearly. She was flushed and looked like she'd been crying. "Hey, you okay? You look a little flushed, watery eyed."

She smiled at me and shook her head. "I'm fine, just tired I guess. And maybe it was the air up on the roof that has me all flushed. It was wonderfully nice up there tonight." She dug in her purse for her keys and held them out to me. "Would you drive please? I'll tell you where to go; I'm just tired I guess. Please? Besides, you've not had anything to drink, I have."

I took the keys from her and hugged her. "You tell me where to go and I will get you there."

Twenty five minutes later we pulled into her drive way. "You've done good for yourself from the looks of it here."

"Eh, it's a family place that I had no clue was a family place until I was suckered into coming back here to take care of my grandmother. This was a part of the bribe I guess you could say. Come on in, I'll fix you something to eat or drink."

Half an hour later we were sitting at the high top table in her kitchen eating grilled cheese sandwiches just like we used to do when we were kids. "So are you going to fill me in on what happened on that rooftop?"

Her face went bright red and she looked away. "Nothing, we just talked is all."

"Olivia you still suck when it comes to lying, you know that don't you?" She didn't look my way still and suddenly I knew something had happened up there. "Liv, did you two… well, I mean did you guys… ah hell! You two got it on didn't you?"

OLIVIA

"NICK! Of course not! You know that I'm not a groupie kind of girl." He didn't believe a word that I was saying. Not one single word that left my lips.

"I know you're not a groupie and I never suggested that you were. Look, it's not a big deal if you did. I know what that guy has always meant to you. I know that at least for you it wasn't like that at all."

He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and hugged me. I turned to him and smiled. "It was the most amazing experience in my life. Well with the exception of my kids, but you know what I mean."

He smiled down at me then glanced over my shoulder. "Oh man, I didn't realize it was already five in the morning. I need to get going. Promise me that you will come out to another show, or even just to hang out. I've missed you and I know that the guys have too."

I smiled at him and put a kiss on his chin. "I will, promise."

He left out when the cab got there and I grabbed the leash and took my dog, Rockstar out to use the bathroom. Just as we were about to head back into the house I heard someone behind me. I started to turn, "Nick did you…"

Before I could finish my sentence a hand covered my mouth and a low voice told me not to scream. I didn't recognize the voice but I searched my memory still to find some kind of memory of it. Nothing came to mind at all. I had dropped the leash and Rockstar had ran when he grabbed me, I was literally completely alone with this crazy person.

His hand found the bottom of my shirt and I pushed at him to free myself. That wasn't going to be happening with him at all. No one would ruin this night no matter how hard they tried. "Leave me alone," I screamed.

"Bitch I told you not to scream." His gloved hand connected to my cheek and I fell to the ground, stars blinded my eyes. I felt my wrist connect with the bottom step of my porch and instinctively I tried to pull myself up the stairs and away from my attacker. "Not so fast you slut." Grabbing my ankle he jerked me back to the ground and I landed hard on a rock. The air flew out of my lungs and I gasped for breath as he tried his best to strip me down so that he could rape me.

Just as he was ripping my shirt I heard Rockstar barking and he grabbed onto the attackers arm, sinking his teeth into flesh. Rockstar didn't let go until I was free and almost in the house. He ran to catch up with me and when we were both inside I closed and locked the door. I called 911 and sat in my living room with a cup of hot tea til the cops arrived.

NICK

"Hey Nick, there's some chick on your phone who says she has to talk to you, it's important." Lauren called. I hated it when she answered my phone, we'd discussed it but she didn't seem to give a damn. Before she handed it to me she said, "Who the hell is Olivia Nick?"

"My best friend, I've told you about her, don't act like you're clueless Lauren. Give me my phone, now." I jerked the phone out of her hand and said, "Liv, hey you, how's it going? You process last night in your mind yet?"

"Nick, I was attacked last night after you left."

"WHAT! Oh my God, Olivia are you okay? What happened?"

I could hear her voice shake as she spoke. "I took Rockstar out and as I was going back into the house I heard someone behind me. I thought it was you, that you'd left something or something. He tried to rape me, I ended up hurting my wrist, some cuts and scrapes. A few stitches in my wrist but all in all I'm fine. Well, no, that's not true. I'm shaken to the bone, scared really."

I should have stayed a few more minutes. Damn it! "God, Liv, I'm so sorry, I should have taken the dog out for you. Is there anyone you could stay with? Someone who could stay with you until you know the guys been caught?"

"No, only Grayson and I can't stay with him Nick. I was thinking I might take you up on that offer to come to another show or two. Get out of town ya know?"

"We are in Texas tomorrow. I'll get you a plane ticket out there, then you can catch a ride with us to the next city. Are you sure you're okay?"

She paused and then spoke. "Yes, I'll be fine. I just want to get out of here for a few days. I'll see you tomorrow."

I hung up and stood in place until a voice broke me from my thoughts. "Should have stayed," Lauren said, clearly pissed from her eaves dropping on my conversation. "What the hell do you mean you should have stayed Nickolas? You told me you were at Brian's place. You lied to me? Are you fucking her Nick?"

"Not now Lauren, and no I'm not fucking her. I have you for that, remember?" I pushed by her and walked off the bus, thankful it was parked.

I saw Jordan and called out, "JK, where's Donnie?"

"In the bus."

I climbed into the bus and called his name. He came out of the back and smiled. "Dude, why the yelling?"

"Let's start with you hurt Olivia and I will break your damn face. I know you two slept together last night and I also know that you have no possible way to know how much that meant to her. That all being said, she's coming out tomorrow for a few days. She was attacked last night when I left."

I actually saw concern register on his face. "She what? Is she okay?"

"Yeah, said she has some stiches in her wrist. Apparently he tried to rape her and she fought back."

"Have they caught the son of a bitch?"

I sat down and put my head in my hands. "I don't know. We didn't go into specifics on it all, she just said she needed to get away. I should have stayed a little longer, made sure it was all okay." That was when it fully hit me that Lauren had heard my end of the conversation and was pissed. "DAMN IT!"

"Man you had no way to know. It's not your fault."

"No beyond all that, Lauren heard the conversation. She knows I was there last night now."

Donnie shook his head and grinned. "Where did she think you were? You didn't tell her you were going to the party?"

"Hell no! I told her I was at Brian's checking out some new stuff in his studio and would just stay the night. Damn it!"

"I think you need to get back over there and deal with ya girl," he said patting my shoulder before walking away.

I walked back to the other bus and before she had a chance to say a word I said, "Listen, she went to the after party last night, I went to Brian's place like I said. She had a few drinks and didn't want to drive home so I drove her home. She's been getting threats from an ex so I checked out the house to be sure it was safe. I left and within minutes she was attacked outside." I saw Brian over her shoulder. He nodded as if to say he got it and he had my back.

"Nick, if I find out you are lying to me, you will regret it, and so will she."

I stepped closer to her. "You threaten me all you want to, but you leave her out of this Lauren. I mean it. She's got nothing to do with us at all. She's been a friend since we were eight years old. Keep her name out of your mouth." I turned and walked away without another word.

OLIVIA

"Hey Nick, it's me, just wanted to let you know that my plane landed. You told me to call and I've been trying but I can't seem to get you to answer the phone. I guess I'll grab a cab to the arena. See you later." I hung up and slipped my cell back into my purse. I turned and went to walk to the customer service desk to ask about a cab and stopped in my tracks. My breath caught in my lungs and I knew I was dreaming.

"Donnie?"

"I told Nick I'd get you today, hope you don't mind." He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and led me to the exit. "You okay today?"

"He told you huh? I'm fine really. Just feel like I've been in a car wreck is all. I'll heal and be right as rain in no time." I smiled at him. I had to be dreaming. "Why did you volunteer to get me?"

He smiled this half smile and looked down at me. "I don't know, maybe I wanted to be the first one to see that smile of yours."

I melted right there. But he did get smile.


	4. Chapter 4

Two months later….

NICK

"I cannot believe that the tour is coming to end. It's been so amazing getting to ride along and experience all that I have."

"We have loved having you here, you know that. It's going to suck not seeing you as often once it's done though. It's been nice having my best friend around again."

"We don't have to lose contact again you know. That is up to us."

"I know, and we won't. I won't let it happen."

"NICK! SHOWTIME, LET'S MOVE!"

"He still doesn't know you're here does he," I asked her in reply to Donnie's yell. She shook her head no and I let out a sigh. "Stop avoiding him for all of your insane reasons please. He's driving us all crazy wanting to talk to you at least."

"Fine, I'll see him on their first break. Now go, they are waiting on you."

"Fine, but you better see him or I'll tell him you're here." Kissing her cheek I headed out to the stage.

OLIVIA

My hands were sweaty and I was not looking forward to Donnie's break, yet at the same time it couldn't come soon enough. It wasn't that I didn't like him, or have feelings for him, just the opposite in fact. I guess it was more that it just felt like something was missing and that something, whatever it was, seemed to feed my doubts.

When the Kids came off the stage Jon spotted me first and his face lit up in a smile. I held my finger to my lips and signaled him to be quiet before I ducked out of sight. I peeked around the wall that I had slipped behind to see Donnie and the guys changing shirts for their next set and my breath caught at the sight of him. He was indeed the most beautiful man I'd ever seen in my life and that was something I couldn't deny. Age looked good on him.

Just as he was buttoning the shirt I came up behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist. "Hey there handsome."

His fingers intertwined with mine and I knew he was wearing a smile. "Hey there yourself ma," he said. "When did you get here?"

As he turned to smile down at me, placing his kiss on my lips I said, "I've been here all afternoon. Just thought I'd lay low a bit."

"Nice, and it's nice to see you too. I've missed that pretty face."

We talked quietly until he had to go back on stage and I smiled as I watched the boyband super group from the wings. They all looked wonderful and this was going to be an excellent night no matter what happened.

By the time the show was over and everyone was ready to head to the hotel and relax Alex had already requested a talk with me. So when we finally made it back to the hotel he and I went out to the pool and sat with our feet dangling in the water.

"What's with you Olivia," he asked me. "I see you face and see so much happiness on it but at the same time it's like I'm not seeing something that should be there and I can't place it."

I sighed and leaned my head onto his shoulder. "Alex how is it after all this time you still get me so damn well? I mean you hit it right on the head of what I'm feeling and I didn't even have to say a word."

"I guess it may just be because I've been there. I've been in that place that you think you want to be and belong in and only find out that it isn't quite what you'd thought it would be when you get tossed in the middle of it all."

I wiped my hands on my thighs and acted like I was standing up. "Well since you already know what the issue is I guess this talk is done." We laughed as I lowered myself back down beside him. "These past few months have been like a dream Alex. I mean come on, me and Donnie? That doesn't happen! And it's been great really, but I just don't know… it just feels like there's something that should be there that isn't."

"I can understand that, I've been right in that spot before."

"I don't know, I guess maybe I just need to stop running from it and embrace whatever it is we have going on and maybe that will let it all fall into place like it should. Then again, I don't think it will. I love that man, have since I was eight. Only now I'm asking myself do I love him or do I love the thought of him."

"What do you mean the thought?"

I stared out into the dark night and wished for my gut and heart to feel anyway but how it felt right then. "Like, maybe I was in love with the celebrity that I saw, but the real Donnie is more of a friend."

"A friend with benefits of course," Alex smirked.

I punched him in the arm but had to laugh. "Amazing benefits actually, but yes, friends with benefits none the less. One thing I don't have any doubt of though is the fact that he is meant to be in my life. That much I'm positive about."

His arm went around my shoulders and he pulled me into him. "Liv, listen to me. You have a heart that any man would be blessed to have entrusted to him. You have it guarded for good reasons and it's understandable that you have doubts about anyone, especially someone in this line of work, with his history. Of course his history really is just that, and he's a great guy, but still I get it. If there is any niggling doubt do not, for any reason, give your heart away. Your gut won't steer you wrong, and your mind, it's pretty sharp to, so if you think something is missing you have two choices. Find it, or stop worrying about it."

I looked up at him and smiled. "When did you get so damn smart about matters of the heart mister?"

"When my heart got sick and damn tired of being used," he said.

I smiled and stood. "Thank you for talking to me. I've missed this with you. I'll see you in the morning before you head home."

I was maybe ten steps away when he called my name. I stopped and turned.

"Ask yourself this Olivia, can you see yourself marrying him? Can you see yourself with him for the rest of your life and see you happy with it? Answer that and you might just find your answer to the rest."

I nodded and headed to the room that I was supposed to be sharing with Donnie that night, and against my will my brain started turning Alex's question over and over, searching out the answers.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Donnie

"How'd the talk go with Alex last night?"

"Good, it's been awhile since we've had a good old heart to heart. What time did you finally get up here?"

"Probably about two I guess. I was going to wake you but you just looked to peaceful to disturb." My arms were around her waist and I kissed her neck. "Of course now you're awake, and as gorgeous as ever." I kissed her jawline and felt her body respond to the simple show of affection.

I turned her so that she was facing me and kissed her lips. They always tasted so sweet on mine, like fresh berries or a fine wine. I loved the way that her arms found their way around my neck when I would deepen a kiss and her soft moan in the back of her throat was my weakness. I hated that I felt like there as something just not right, something missing with us almost but I didn't want to let her go, didn't want her to walk away. Maybe I was a selfish bastard as I'd been told in the past, then again, maybe these benefits were just too good to let go.

Olivia

His kiss drove me insane. It was like no other kiss I'd ever experienced before in my life. I let my arms go around his neck and pulled him in closer to me. As his tongue met mine I sighed with a pleasure that was pure and real. I bit his bottom lip and tugged gently, something I'd never done before and he lifted me, wrapping my legs around his waist.

"Jesus woman you get sexier every single time I see you."

He tossed me down on the bed and pulled my t shirt over my head. My breasts were exposed and he immediately covered one with his mouth. I squirmed beneath him and a deeply aroused moan escaped my lips. "Mmm Donnie, I love when you…" The words were lost when his teeth found my nipple and tugged lightly.

In one swift motion he had his pajama pants on the floor and my lacy panties laying with them. "You drive me crazy woman, in the best way possible." His lips devoured mine and his fingers found their way to that spot where my legs met.

My breath caught as I waited on his fingers to find their place. When he slowly slid one inside I began to squirm. He began to work my body using only his fingers. The man was incredible.

"Donnie, my gah you make me feel so incredibly good." He smiled down at me, kissing me again. My body started to shake and I knew he was about to have me at the top of that mountain. My breath was coming fast and my mind was spinning. Within minutes I was cumming like only he had ever been able to make me.

Just when I thought he was done, he rolled onto his back and pulled me on top of him. "I love feeling you on me, when your body is wet." He kissed my shoulders and trailed kisses down my chest, over my nipples and back up again. When his lips found mine I felt him enter me, his hands on my hips, pulling me down onto him, his hips rising to meet me. My head tilted back and I swear in the middle of the day I saw stars.

Without ever breaking our contact he rolled me onto my back and continued loving me like I'd never been loved. When he pulled out I started to protest before I was rolled on my side. He lay behind me, wrapping his arms around me and sliding into me again. His hand slid down my body until he reached that private spot and began to gently rub with his skilled fingers as he moved himself in and out of me. I thought that my head would explode with erotic pleasure, but I had no desire for him to stop.

His teeth bit into the soft lobe of my ear and he whispered, "You feel incredible wrapped around me, like a wet glove."

I could not tell you why but that was so incredibly sexy to me. I began to move to his rhythm and as I did he picked up his pace. I could barely hold in the cry of pleasure that was attempting to escape my lips. "God Donnie you're going to make me cum again!" With those words he began to go faster, deeper into me. I was gasping for air, loving the feeling he was giving me.

His free hand tangled itself into my hair, pulling my head back just enough so that his lips found mine. Just as he covered my lips with his I experienced the most earth shattering orgasm that I'd ever had, my loud cry of pleasure swallowed by his kiss.

He pulled his lips from mine, never slowing his pace. "You good ma," he asked in his heavy Boston accent.

"Incredible," was all that I could manage. Just when I thought I couldn't take anymore, when I thought if he kept on I would surely not be able to walk, he went harder and faster, drove himself deeper inside of me. I felt his muscles start to shake and knew that he was about to reach his orgasm. So caught up in the feeling it never crossed my mind to tell him to pull out, and in that moment I didn't want him too. With one final deep and hard thrust, he came deep inside of me.

When his orgasm had subsided he lay there and held me for what seemed like hours, never breaking our bodies connection.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapt. 6

Olivia

"No, I absolutely will not cave and go running up there to surprise him. That's ridiculous."

"Why is it so damn ridiculous woman?"

I was on the phone with probably the only person who knew the full extent of what was going on in my life, my very best friend who lived in Alabama. I had met Maggie a few years back online, one of those common interests and friends things where a friend said hey you two are just alike kinda things. I honestly don't think either of us ever thought we'd be so close but we were. She was my best friend and though we didn't see each other, I wouldn't be the same without her in my world.

"Olivia, listen to me. You love that boy and he loves you even if neither of you have admitted it yet. Get your happy ass on a damn plane and go see him. You're miserable without him and if he's half as into you as you are him, he's probably pretty damn pathetic too."

"So I'm pathetic now is what you're saying, I see. And no I definitely do not love him. I refuse to do that, not with his life and careers and stuff. Nothing would ever work between us."

Okay let me clarify, when I say I she knew everything, there was one little bit she didn't know. I had yet to tell her that I just felt like something wasn't there because even to me that sounded ridiculous. I was living a life millions of females around the world would have taken a life for and here I was, thinking it was missing something and looking for any way to avoid it.

"I'm telling you, go to him. You won't regret it."

I sighed and said, "Fine, I'll leave out in the morning, meet up with him on the set and see what happens. I'm telling you though, we are just friends, who happen to have incredibly, off the wall amazing, sex."

She laughed and said, "Keep telling yourself that dear, see how far it gets you. Call or text me when you get there and see him, let me know how it goes. Love you."

Hanging up the phone I stood and went to my closet. I pulled out a suitcase and lay it open on my bed and stared at the clothes hanging in front of me, clueless as to what to pack. About that time my daughter came in the room.

"What are you doing mom?"

"I thought while you were at your dads this weekend I'd go up and visit Donnie. Is that okay with you miss?"

She grinned up at me and nodded. She liked him, a lot. "What are you taking with you, or can you not decide?"

I laughed and shook my head. "I have no idea Lilah, but why don't you help me pick out something? After all you are my little fashionista."

She was so excited to help me that I just stood back and let her choose four outfits for me and was thoroughly impressed with her choices.

"Okay mom, these jeans make your legs look really long and your booty look fantastic. Wear them with this red shirt, but only if you're just hanging out. If he asks you to dinner, wear this little black dress and these earrings," she said holding up a pair of diamond studs. "These shoes because the sparkle on the strappy parts will give you bling. Then there are two more just because outfits. Now do you think you can handle the pajamas?" When I nodded she smiled. "Good, cause dad called and wanted to see if I could come over tonight instead of in the morning and go eat pizza with him and mammaw. So can I?"

I scooped her up and spun her around in a huge hug. "Of course, if it makes you happy. Let me get my purse and I'll run you on over there."

"No need, he said to call him and he'd pick me up on the way to the pizza place. Thank you mom, I love you," she said before turning and heading out of the room.

Sometimes I was amazed that she was really only eight. She was so grown up and so mature for her age, a true mini adult in every sense of the word.

Thirty minutes later she was headed out the door. "You have everything for school right?"

"Yes mom! Have fun!"

I smiled. "Okay sweetie, don't eat too much pizza! I'll see you Monday when you get home from school." With a nod and a smile she was in the truck and gone.

I turned and headed back into the house to get in touch with Eric, one of Donnie's pilot friends to see if he'd be willing to help me get to New York to surprise the man I couldn't shake, even with something missing.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Donnie

"So where are you staying tonight?"

"I have room over at Lola. You could come by for dinner, the restaurant looks amazing and they have a nice bar it seems like."

I smiled down at her. "Or you could cancel it and save your money. Stay with me while you're here."

"Donnie, I couldn't impose on you that way."

"It most definitely wouldn't be imposing. In fact it could be incredible fun. I'll call you when we wrap up here today, swing by and pick you up"

She smiled up at me in that innocent way she had and I couldn't help hoping that she would come. I couldn't resist a kiss before I had to head back in to finish up taping for the day.

Back on set there were questions from everyone it seemed, wanting to know just what was going on with Olivia and me. I held my hands up and said, "Guy, we're friends, nothing more."

"Is that what she would say too," Will asked.

"Yeah," I said looking at him, "it is."

Amy smirked at me, "So, tell me Donnie, how's the benefits in the friendship?" Before I could formulate a reply she had walked away laughing.

Olivia

"The weekend just went by so fast, and I don't think we left his place once. I miss him already and I hate that feeling."

"Olivia, you love him, missing him kind of comes with the territory."

There was no use arguing the fact with Maggie, because she was in a sense right. I did love him, but if I was honest with myself not in the way I wanted to, or should after all these years. I hung up the phone only to pick it right back up to call Alex. He was the only one who I'd been one hundred percent honest with about all this mess.

"Livvy, my darling, how are you," he answered.

"I'm okay, just got back from a wonderful weekend in New York."

"So you've worked out all the feelings then?"

"No, and I hate it. I miss him entirely too much when we're apart, but then we get together and it's still missing something. I don't know what the hell the deal is Alex."

"Have you talked to him about it?"

"No, we're just friends anyway so it's not like it should matter to begin with. I guess maybe I just feel like I shouldn't feel this way and I do and I'm letting my brain get ahead of it all."

"Have you ever thought someone was so wonderful and then you meet them face to face and are completely disappointed? I think that's where you are. All your life you've believed that he was the love you needed and that you loved him the way you needed to for it to be forever, but then when it's right there in your face you realize that it wasn't what you thought it would be."

I laughed. "You do have a way with words huh? So you're saying it's like looking at a tray of strawberries thinking about how sweet they are, only to bite into one and it being completely sour? You think you know what you're in for until you actually take a bite out of it?"

"See, you catch on fast, that's why I love you." He laughed then. "So, December, you'll be here for the wedding right?"

"Of course silly, nothing could keep me away. I can't wait. Have I mentioned how happy I am for you? I am so glad you found someone who loves you and supports you and is a aid instead of a hindrance. You deserve all of this love."

"I love you Liv, now go get your head together and figure out what you want. Bottom line is you're not out to marry Donnie so you have to ask yourself if missing pieces are really so bad when being with him still makes you so happy. Call me later."

I hung up the phone and realized that he was right. I loved spending time with Donnie and I loved him in all the ways that I could. I missed him when he wasn't here and that was what mattered. I'd just have to get past the missing parts and focus on what wasn't missing.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapt 9

Olivia

The next month or so found me in New York every weekend and usually in Donnie's bed when he wasn't working. I had gotten into the habit of baking some sort of goodies for the guys on set and delivering them every Friday, no matter where the set was for that day. I tried to push the thought of something missing out of my head and was pretty successful for the most part.

It was a Saturday morning in October, early October and the weather was wonderful. I was up early and cooking breakfast in Donnie's kitchen when he came shuffling in, pajama pants, white t shirt and a smile.

"Hey ma," he said kissing my cheek. "That smells amazing, and you look amazing." Pouring a cup of coffee he took a seat at the high top bar and opened up the paper. "Hey, do you have any plans for tonight?"

"Um, no I don't think so, why?"

"No reason, just be ready at about 5, I have a surprise for you."

Why my heart sank I couldn't tell you, but it did. I wasn't a fan of surprises, but this was more than that. "Well you need to tell me where we're going so I know how to dress. I may have to go shopping if I didn't bring anything appropriate."

He smiled up at me and shook his head no. "Let's just do the little black dress kind of thing and we will be just fine."

I could tell there was no getting it out of him so I let it go. I'd definitely have to go shopping; I hadn't brought anything remotely close to little black dress.

After breakfast I headed out to find something that would work. "Maggie, I cannot let this get serious! I don't belong with him, not in a serious relationship. We are from two totally different worlds and there is no way that it could ever work."

"And just why the hell couldn't it work out woman?"

"Let's start with the fact that I have no desire to be in the limelight at all, and there would be no way to avoid the attention if I were to date him. Then there's the fact that I'm not a model or some other extravagantly gorgeous chick with these long legs and perfect boobs and hair. Guys like him, they just don't want plain old girls, and they want that arm piece that will look good on a red carpet. I'm so far from the red carpet I'm sneaking in the damn back door!"

"Oh just stop, he doesn't care about any of that and you shouldn't either. Stop looking for excuses and just go with it."

I didn't know how to make her see that I didn't want the life he led, even if I did want him, and I wasn't sure where I stood with that when it came to serious relationships. I hung up and grabbed a Starbucks before headed into Barney's to search for a dress for an evening that I had no idea about.

Donnie

Was I nervous about tonight, no, not really. I knew she wasn't fond of surprises but I also knew that she would love this one. She'd be fine once we got to where we were going. I slid the grey sweater over my head and smiled to myself. Olivia wasn't the type of girl you just enjoyed hot nights with, she was the kind you took care of and held onto. Sure, there was the niggling thought that something wasn't quite spot on, but I couldn't help but think it was nothing more than the fact that she deserved more than nights of sex, she deserved commitment.

"Hey, Donnie, would you log me out of my facebook page please?"

I smiled and shook my head. She was always leaving that damn page logged in. "Of course, just as soon as I post some crazy status!"

"Donnie don't you dare mister." She called from the shower with a laugh in her voice.

I logged her out without posting anything this time. "I'm going to watch some football while you finish up getting ready okay?"

"Okay, I won't be long, promise."

She was true to her word and ready within half an hour. She walked out into my living room and she looked amazing. "If this is what you come up with on short notice I'd love to see what you can do with time to plan. You look wonderful Liv. You ready to head out?"

"Tell me where we're going, please," she said as I took her hand and led her out the door.

"You will see soon enough. I will tell you first stop is dinner."

"Well, I a hungry," she replied, laughing.

Olivia

Dinner was amazing. Michael's was a fantastic restaurant, even when we went in the back door and sat in a secluded area. It just felt like too much in a way. All that just to have a peaceful dinner and not to be seen would be a ridiculous way to have a relationship.

"Okay you, now where are we going?"

He smiled and kissed my nose. "You'll see."

Thirty minutes later we were standing at the top of the Empire State Building, looking out over the city. It was breathtaking and probably the most romantic thing I'd ever experienced. His arms were wrapped around my waist and he was swaying me lightly side to side as he hummed a familiar tune.

"This is breathtaking, such a beautiful sight. I'd give anything to have my camera up here to capture it all."

"We'll come back, you can bring it then," he whispered. He slowly began to sing a Blake Shelton song, God Gave Me You, and I think I may have melted. As he finished the song up he kissed my cheek so soft. "I love you Olivia."

I froze. What did he mean he loved me? He couldn't love me. Surely he meant he loved me in a way that wasn't serious. I just smiled, not knowing what to say and not feeling like repeating the words was the right thing to do at that moment in time. What was wrong with me? Why wasn't this man, in this setting, in this life, feeling like it should?


End file.
